Last month I was invited to a friends place for a party. As she is an extremely good hostess she as usual asked me what I would like to drink at the party. I am always uncomfortable to answer such questions with my personal choice and so I said…anything would be fine. So the day arrived and it was such a smashing party, everyone was having a good time. Amu welcomed me with a tight hug and dragged me to the bar…from below the table she pulled out a Catello della Paneretta Chianti Classico and exclaimed excitedly…“look what I got for you Pree…”
She knew I did enjoy a glass of my red wine. I was touched by her gesture!
Just as she poured me a glass someone called for her and she disappeared in the crowd. As i was about to sip my drink an old friend waved across the room and joined me…after exchanging pleasantries she complained how her drink was too strong and how she wished there was red wine at the part! Eyeing my drink she asked…hey is that red wine and looking at the excitement in her eyes I could not resist and offered her my drink. Not only did she finish that glass but the entire bottle that Amu had tucked away for me. Once the party was over I was helping Amu clean up and she said excitedly….did you enjoy the wine I got you? once we are done cleaning, lets hang out with your wine on the terrace. I gave her the look she knew! “you gave away the bottle to someone???” she asked and I only nodded. She was disappointed but obviously didn’t show it and said, lets drink some water instead as I am already dehydrated!
That night while I was lying in bed I thought of this episode from a philosophical point of view. Can we really fill other peoples glass if our own glass in empty. I could not offer Amu my glass because my glass is empty. I chose to share with someone who didn’t matter to me that much.
I was always taught that giving was the highest virtue. But at what and whose cost? Is giving appropriate at your own cost? The biggest feeling and emotion that makes the world go around is Love. So the question is, can we give love to others , if we have no love inside. No self love? Whatever the reason is … if we do not love ourself how can we give it to others?
In each relationship that we are in, we almost always ignore our own feelings to perform well in the role we play. Sometimes we are lovers, sometimes spouse, sometimes parents or friends. whatever the relationship, the world tells us to love the other one more than we love ourself? Now is this even possible? because if we do not love ourself what do we have to give? We can only give what we have.
So when people don’t treat us well, should we keeping taking S*** in the name of love or should we love ourself enough to stop taking S***!
There is a lot of Love we have in our hearts. Always enough to cover all, but lets start redirecting a part of that Love towards our own self. Lets talk kindly to ourself like we would to a lover. Lets buy gifts for ourself like we would buy a loved one. Lets take care of ourself like we would of someone we love. Lets not be harsh on ourself as we would never do that to someone we love.
List down things that would make you feel loved or pampered or cared for and start doing all that for yourself sincerely on a daily basis. You are very loving my dear and you deserve every bit of that love yourself first!.
Once your soul is full you can then start giving it freely to others. The next time at the party I not only had two glasses of a beautiful red wine but also kept some away to share with Amu at the end and not waste it on someone who didn’t matter.